Stand Closer

A produce-based aiming simulator. No anatomy was drawn in the making of this game.

1000

points of dignity remaining

On the floor 0.0 mL

On you 0.0 mL

On the rim, seat and walls 0.0 mL

Splash kicked up 0.0 mL

Where

Move the mouse to aim: left and right, near and far. W and S step closer and back, or use the buttons. Space starts it. Once it starts it does not stop. That part is also realistic.

Today's board

    What is real in here

    The toilet is a standard elongated bowl: rim 39 cm off the floor, a 28 by 36 cm opening, and a 20 by 23 cm pool of water sitting 14 cm below the rim. The back wall drops almost straight down and the front is a long slope, steep under the rim and flatter near the water. The urinal lip is at 60 cm. You see it all from your own eye height.

    1. The flow is a curve. A hesitant start, a strong middle, a long fade, then a few spurts you did not plan for. Speed drops with it, so the same aim lands shorter and shorter.
    2. A stream is only a stream for about the first 15 to 20 cm. After that it breaks into drops, and drops splash far worse than a solid stream.
    3. The angle you hit at decides the splash. Skim a surface at under 20 degrees and almost nothing comes back. Hit it square and it sprays.
    4. Surfaces differ. Standing water throws drops straight up. Curved porcelain bounces them along the curve. A flat rim sends them everywhere.
    5. Every splash drop flies its own arc and is charged for where it lands: bowl, rim, floor, bath mat or your shoes.
    6. You are not a tripod. Your hand wobbles, the first second can go off sideways or fork in two, and your height sets how far everything falls before it lands.